The Friday before Christmas. Everyone’s favorite day at work. I hope all of you are enjoying the Holiday season and that you’re ready for Monday. I know I still have work to do.
Here’s the text of the poem:
‘Twas the night before go-live at Whoville Saint General-
Hospital, Clinics (and Drug Store) for Medical-
Treatment of Sore Throats and Coughing and Sneezing
(And any old illness your aunt might think pleasing).
The doctors and nurses were not in their beds.
How could they when ransomware danced in their heads?
The nighttime clinicians were making their rounds,
And hoping to not hear “Code grey!” or worse sounds.
With thoughts of the past their brave CMO trembled,
Like dachshunds on ice, which he somewhat resembled,
His hospital soon would wear new healthcare software,
In hopes that efficiencies soon would be found there.
Back months ago all the directors (nice folk),
With one voice had told him, “Get better!” They spoke:
“Our PHI — all of it’s leaking outside.
Our payers are livid! Please help us,” they cried.
The hospital CMO was a good man.
He said, “I will fix it as soon as I can.
When treating our patients I brook no delay.
We need a solution? So be it! I’ll pay!”
Then what to his sleep-deprived eyes should be seen,
An elf health IT vendor on his touchscreen!
She promised to help him to her best ability,
‘Twas smart and so friendly — a right jolly elf,
Millennial – but she could laugh at herself.
She sang, “As we move toward performance incentives,”
“It’s time for you all to start using preventives.”
With warnings of breaches piled up at her side,
“It’s time to stop mailing or FAXing,” she cried.
“Now with the Merit-Based Incentive Payment,
You must better serve ev’ry insurance claimant.”
“The blocking of info will be in the past,
Devices will network, in full and at last.
With EMR apps and solutions galore,
Just think of me as your IT superstore.”
Excited, our CMO then called his CEO,
Who in turn brought in their wonderful CFO,
And teleconferenced their hospital CIO,
“Yes, yes,” here, “Yes, yes there,” Ee yi oh, Ee yi oh.
The elf dressed in white, just like fresh snow, she said,
“Because in a hospital no one likes red.”
Her tech so disruptive, her sales pitch so merry!
Our CMO called for his tech guy, named Larry.
“On, Epic! On, Cerner, Athena, McKesson,
On, NextGen and Praxis!” The fairy’s good lesson:
“On, HIMSS, MIPS and HIPAA! On, HEDIS and Star!
Your hospital will be the most bestest by far!”
They went through the install. The elf vendor fairy-
Helped all the clinicians and IT guy Larry.
The CMO’s big day would swiftly arrive.
The button was pushed and the system went live!
Clinicians and board members feared for the worst, or
At least a big pop-up to “X” with the cursor.
But then it was just so amazing to see,
How swiftly was reconciled all HCC.
Staff pushback all melted, just a like spring icicle,
As they began their new revenue cyclical.
All the clinicians were filled with such gratitude,
And even patients took on a new attitude.
Screens, how they twinkled, and noses — they crinkled,
The food tasted better and sheets were not wrinkled.
With CPOE and all gap management flying,
Our CMO could not stop sillily smiling.
The fairy then left, trailing laughter and mirth,
As our CMO learned what good IT was worth.
You don’t even need to be the biggest spender
(So long as you have a good elf for your vendor).