Funny S#@! Heard in Interviews

Ah, recruiting. Like every profession it’s highly rewarding and highly frustrating. I’ve been in the recruiting industry for about five years now. A length of time in which some would still call me a novice and others would call me senior. No matter the delegation, five years is plenty of time to hear some really funny stuff, especially about hospitals and healthcare IT. Here is some funny s@%! I’ve heard in interviews just for the purpose of making you, dear reader, laugh.

Me: Did you also have a bonus as part of your total compensation?

Candidate: Well, no, but they did give us $12 gift certificates for a Christmas turkey. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bonus in my career.

Me: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: (rambling on before this) . . . I showed that hospital that they had a size 13 shoe up their a$$.

Me: Why do you want to work here?

Candidate: I would give my left arm for this job.

Me: Well, if you did, it actually would preclude you from consideration for this role.

Candidate: Oh.

Me: This is the form that you’ll take with you to the lab for your drug screen.

Candidate: What’s the test? Is it a five-panel, 10-panel or 12-panel? Is it a pee test or a hair test? Do they just test for marijuana or other drugs? How long before I start can I take it?

Me: Perhaps we shouldn’t move forward because I’m slightly suspicious after what you just said . . .

Candidate: Oh, no, I’ll pass the test. Don’t even worry about it.

Me: (Sigh.)

Me: Do you have any last questions before leaving for your contract?

Candidate: Can I expense additional baggage insurance?

Me: I don’t know and I would be happy to look into that for you. Do you have something of particular value that you’re taking?

Candidate: I want to bring my fishing pole so that I can catch all my own food and my bike.

And finally, here is one that isn’t from an interview, but was certainly the “awkward conversation” highlight of a former colleague’s career:

Recruiter: We need to speak about what you are expensing to the client, specifically on your grocery receipts.

Candidate: OK.

Recruiter: In your contract, it is OK to charge your food to the client; however it is not OK for you to expense your purchase of KY Jelly. You need to pay for that yourself.

Please post your own funny conversations below!

About the author


Cassie Sturdevant

Cassie Sturdevant is a Senior Recruiter for Impact Advisors, a healthcare IT strategic and implementation services consulting firm just named 2013 Best in KLAS for Overall Services. She specializes in humor and follow up.


  • Definitely funny S#@! , thanks for a post that got me laughing!

    I am never surprised anymore by what people will do and say, but it still is entertaining!

    I hope that you have a great week, Cassie! Joe

  • Thank you Joe! Sometimes it’s great just to laugh!

    Hope you have a great week, too!


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