This is a spoof release but I found it incredibly amusing and is worth a laugh with all of the serious business out there:
Electronic health record vendor Extormity today announced the launch of an embedded social history adjustment algorithm in its EHR. “Every provider knows patients are less than forthright about their social history, often misrepresenting alcohol and tobacco consumption, exercise frequency and intensity or recreational drug use,” said Extormity CMO Dr. Sonny Bartram.
“This new module automatically adjusts patient-reported values, tripling alcohol intake, doubling the number of cigarettes smoked, and reducing exercise duration by two-thirds,” added Bartram. “The system also adjusts for regional and patient-specific factors. For example, a rural patient wearing a baseball cap emblazoned with the numbers 24 or 3 will automatically be flagged as a user of chewing tobacco.”
Extormity CEO Brantley Whittington hailed the new algorithm as an example of cutting-edge innovation. “This is the newest version of our Cookbook™ Clinical Decision Support engine, designed to save time, eliminate guesswork and turn physicians into modern-day keypunch operators.”
Extormity is an electronic health records mega-corporation dedicated to offering highly proprietary, difficult to customize and prohibitively expensive healthcare IT solutions. Our flagship product, the Extormity EMR Software Suite, was recently voted “Most Complex” by readers of a leading healthcare industry publication. Learn more at www.extormity.com