Always Listen Before Speaking

It’s crazy to be writing on this topic as this issue is all about something we learned as kids – hopefully from a very early age. Some call it etiquette, while others just refer to it as “good manners.”  Whatever you call it – make sure you’re practicing the art of listening and hesitating before you start interrupting anyone during a conversation – especially during an interview. Let them finish their thought and wait for a break of silence before jumping in. Interruptions are just plain rude and sends all kinds of mixed messages to a potential hiring manager. C’mon people – get in the game.

For some of us, we just can’t help ourselves. Our brain is already spinning with ideas and thoughts we feel we must “blurt out” before we forget what’s on the tip of our tongues, while others just like to take charge and drive the conversation. They need the floor! Whatever your reasons or excuses are for interrupting someone during an interview or raising your voice and decibel level to make a point – you’re downgrading your value each time you exhibit that sort of behavior. It’s akin to a loudmouth door-to-door sales guy who wants to sell you something before he knows what your needs are. Not good.

Develop your own technique to delay that urge to interrupt if you just can’t control your urge to barge in on someone during a conversation or an interview. If you can’t help yourself, at least use your manners. I coach candidates on pivoting all the time, especially when I detect or experience interruptions during our interview. Let the person finish their sentence – wait 2-3 seconds to gather your thoughts before responding to a question or adding to the conversation. It’s really not that hard, but you’d be very surprised at the number of very well paid professionals who just don’t get it. They’re too busy trying to finish sentences for the people they’re talking with or attempting a “one-up” by having a more interesting or compelling story to tell.

The basic rule of thumb here gets back to my first point – just remember what your parents said when you were a young child: it’s rude to interrupt. Your parents were correct – it is rude!

About the author

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Tim Tolan

Tim Tolan is the Senior Partner of the Healthcare IT and Services Practice of Sanford Rose Associates. He has conducted searches for CEOs, presidents, senior vice presidents, vice presidents of business development, product development and sales. Tim is also the co-author of "The CEO’s Guide to Talent Acquisition – Finding Talent Your Competitors Overlook," available on Amazon.

   

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